How to Fail at Losing Weight

Eat free donuts that someone brings into work.

I kid, but really… I walked into my internship this morning and, oh! HELLO box of delicious, Italian bakery style donuts with a note saying “Help yourself :)”

I resisted all morning. My breakfast of oatmeal kept me satisfied through lunch. But after lunch – that’s another story. I got up to go to the bathroom and stopped by the donuts on the way back. I stared longingly while having an internal battle, (weight loss triumphed) then continued to my cubicle. I got up to stretch my legs an hour later, then stopped by the donuts again. That’s when I saw it. The mouth-watering, sugar covered, childhood favorite vanilla creme-filled donut. Come ON are you KIDDING me?! I felt my knees go weak along with my willpower. I reached for the donut. It was big. I’m talking, bigger-than-my-hand, made-fresh-that-morning kind of thing. I tore off a piece, making sure that I got some of the vanilla creme (it’s the star of the show, people) and took my first bite. I’m not kidding you when I say, I had truly not experienced happiness before that moment. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but just a little one. The doughy, sugary, creamy treat LITERALLY melted on my tongue. Ugh. Why is food this good so, so bad for us? It’s just cruel.

Anyway, I was satisfied with my little torn off piece. (If I’m being totally honest, I was *this* close to picking up the entire box, booking it out of the office – stolen treats in tow – and eating them so fast that no one even noticed I was gone.) My pride would not allow me to do so, however, so here I am, stuck back at square one, sitting in my cubicle with the knowledge that there is the most heavenly tasting donut just waiting to be scarfed down enjoyed a few feet away.

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